What do you see?

I love this Children's book.  If Barbie were to jump into this book, it would be:

Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?

I see Barbie looking at me.

There were two yes count them two perfect Barbie moms that showed up to the 6th grade dance today. Seriously Blond, Perfect Bodies, Perfect clothes and not a hair out of place.

I wanted to offer them a cookie maybe a dozen.

Now if I were to look at all the moms there today and you were to ask me what I saw...

I saw several very Beautiful women.  Many not so perfect, ALL there for the sole purpose of supporting their child.

Back to the two Barbies

It made me uncomfortable with me.

I know these two, they love their kids, love their families, work out at the gym every day and have the discipline to not eat the DARN cookie.

 I kind of don't like them, because it reminds me I don't have that discipline and will never appear that perfect, I always have a hair out of place.

Then suddenly I felt very insecure about who I am and...HOLY COW all those feelings from jr high and high school came flooding back.

WA-OOAH have I not grown up?  Am I not past all of that?

I am a big believer in working with what God has given you and confidence in what you have 

 is darn attractive.

Gonna have to think about it.

Stand Tall and Strong is the new Skinny

If you know me you know I am tall for a girl 5'11.  My mom who is about 5'9 was always telling us to stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and tuck in your tummy.  In other words NO SLOUCHING.  Now I must admit when I see girls / women my age that are starting to slouch before they are even 40 in my humble opinion it is not attractive.  Speaking of attractive, my husband who is about my same height says confidence is sexy.  So even now when my mom isn't here to poke me in-between the shoulders... when I pass a mirror I throw back shoulders, suck in my tummy and stand a little taller.  Weight has never been an easy thing for me.  Bless those genetics.  It's also apparent to me be it a wiring thing or a learned behavior, I think about food.  There is no skipping of meals, or forgetting to eat.  If I don't eat I get cranky, light headed and down right ornery.  This conversation yesterday needs to be logged because it's been 24hours and I am still shaking my head.
Me and a friend -
Me: Look at you, you're back in your jeans and your baby is barely 6 weeks old.  Nice job! (I seriously meant this because my baby weight takes about 2 years, blood sweat and tears to come off! )
Friend:  I know it's just fallen off, I'm skinnier now than before I got pregnant.
hmm ok I'm happy to hand out compliments but lets not go over-board.
Me: Really that is great, good for you, what did you do to get it off?
Friend: I just don't eat, I don't have time. I'm just too busy
**small pet peeve of mine*** do not tell me how busy you are because EVERYONE is busy
Me: Really? Doesn't that affect your milk?
Friend: No the baby seems to be fine
Me: Well good for you
Friend: I know it's great to have it come off so fast.
I wanted to punch her.  But in all honesty I was just jealous.
It was a good reminder we are all created just a little bit different.  And she is probably 'skinnier' than I am...it's just not the skinny I'm going for (see picture above)

Feeding the Family

I am pondering what to stock in my pantry and fridge.  I grew up in a house where my mom did NOT want the 'crap' on the shelf.  Thus when my dad would bring treats home or we found a bag of chips at a friends house we PIGGED out.  I noticed with some of the families I babysat for they had the crap on the shelves but because it was always there it wasn't a big deal and they usually chose to skip over it.

Junk Free January

Goes down nicely in a pretty glass.

Reminder

I keep telling myself DON'T GIVE UP!

Baby got back

Tell me your secrets

When it comes to weight loss I really do believe there are several right answers.  The hard part is the trial and error finding what works for you.  October of last year I had had it.  I have tried several diets, hormones, pills, shakes, systems, and even my version of "working out and eating right".  Nothing was working and I was tired of looking at myself in the mirror and feeling disgusted.  I was tired of struggling to find anything to wear that I felt good in.  When I asked someone that I viewed as successful in this department what their secret was I REALLY wanted to know.  My biggest pet peeve is when the person I ask shrugs it off and and says something basic like 'just eating right'.  Do you know how many versions of 'eating right' are out there!  So this is what is currently working for me and some of the little secrets that are making it work. I LOVE little tricks..for me I think it's been the difference this time.
1. Went to the source.  Ryan the trainer.  I work with him about 3 times a month.  He writes a 6 day work-out schedule for me.  I usually make 5-6 of those days.  He has a small gym and I try to work out there as much as possible because I know that one of the trainers there is watching me.
2. I got the hubs on board and we committed to a year.  We tend to get sidetracked by the appeal of 90 days or 14 day cleanse...or whatever. I needed a long term fix.
3. Long term is expensive but also cheap.  Typically a gym or a trainer will give you the best deal when they know you are committed for a longer period of time.  How much money is it really?  How much would you spend on a new flat screen TV vs how much are you willing to spend on your long term health.
4. I weight-lift and do cardio.  Contrary to the myth no matter who you are weightlifting does not make you bulky.  Eating the wrong foods and too much of the wrong foods will make you bulky. Weight bearing exercise boosts your metabolism and is the best thing you can do for your bones as you age.
5.Put food first.   I have to COUNT every calorie that goes in my mouth.  There are some great apps for tracking this.  It's a PAIN IN the BUTT!  But for me calories are like money and if I don't keep track as I am putting it into my mouth by the end of the day I've 'spent' too much or in this case eaten too much.  Food is fuel.  The better I eat the less I crave.
6. Thermogenics.  There are several of these on the market.  Max muscle sells a couple I like.  Sometimes they work for a while and then they stop.  I have found one I like called lipodrene.  I only take a half and I only take on days when I know I'm going to be around a lot of food or I'm just super snacky.
7. Energy and a Diet Coke substitute - I use a powder mix that works as a slight appetite depressant and has enough kick to give me energy to get my to-do list done.  D-fine8 and Vemma zero for the fiz.
8. Be accountable.  I txt Ryan every (ok almost every) night my calories.  Even if I'm over where I should be I still count it.
9. Cooking: I find recipes one at a time that I like and my family likes.  EZ is good and I need EZ when I am stressed out and tempted by other foods.  It's hard with kids and sometimes I end up making two dinners, or I'll make white noodles for the kids and wheat for Brian and I.  I also find snacks that I like, that are legal.  It has to be quick and easily accessible.  I know in a pinch on the road I REALLY love subway and the sandwich I order there is only 280 calories.  I also know I can go to the fridge, grab cottage cheese a spoonful of greek yogurt and sprinkle berries on top and it's DELISH!
10.  I WILL NOT GIVE UP.  There have been major moments when I feel like I'm not making the progress I want or deserve.  Sometimes my stress or schedule gets the best of me.  But I will not give up.
BONUS:  find your why. I've had people say, "you look great" "what are you doing?" and then before I can even answer they give me all of their excuses: "I don't have time, I'm going to bulk up, I don't like to exercise, my kids have to come first and they are taking all my time."  The last one gets me because I think hmmm do they  think I don't put my kids first????  There is a time and a season and everyone has a different "why."  To these people I say, "are you happy" if whatever you are doing is making you happy then I think that is perfect for you. If not then take a chance and make a change.